A Special Tribute

Happy Birthday!

Today my mother turns 75 years old. WOW! That is hard to believe, and even harder to believe that her baby boy will turn 54 in a little over a month. What do you get a 75 year old woman for her birthday? I decided, since she has long since gotten what she wants and needs herself, that I would give her a tribute. She will love it, and it is easy to send.

Don’t expect me to write some flowery, emotionally over the top piece about my mother. I could do that, but it would not be a deserving piece for this woman. She deserves an honest and candid reflection about a life that has been, and is imperfect, yet fundamentally good and kind.

In her 75 years and my 54, we have experienced the kinds of things that life tends to dump on you, ready or not. We have experienced the turmoil of a broken home. I will never forget her holding me on her lap when I was 8 years old and informing me that she and my father were not going to live together anymore. It is a vivid memory. We will never get over the loss of her beautiful teenage daughter, and my beloved sister who died way too young at age 17 from cancer. No one, including myself, will ever fully know what she went though in that two year ordeal. She hurt me deeply during that time, but because of the trauma and stress, she doesn’t even remember the incident. I hurt her deeply with a decision I made about my wedding. Looking back, I was wrong…really wrong. I regret it. The point is this: There are always reasons to harbor hurts and offenses of the past, but wisdom is learning to live a life of love, acceptance and forgiveness. Mother and I have opted for openness, respect, humor and a deep and genuine love for each other. My mother is fun! I talk to her on the phone at least once or twice a week, and we connect. I mean it…we really do. How wonderful is that? We hardly ever talk without laughing about something. Maybe the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

I wish I had more of the firey personality and temper she exhibited in her younger years. I would have accomplished more. I was born with more of my father’s passivity, and propensity toward procrastination. I was blessed with her compassion for people, and especially those who are hurting and in need. We both agree that if everyone were just “normal” like we are, then things would be much better in the world.

We share thousands of memories. We like each other. We never get enough “together” time. We respect each other. We are not whiners. We can laugh about those close to us instead of complaining. We can laugh at ourselves…and often do. We understand each other. We thank God for each other. I feel honored and blessed to be her son. She feels honored and blessed to be my mother. It’s a good arrangement, but I’ll always feel like I have the best of the deal.

Happy birthday, Mother
I love you!