Dear Daughter.....on your 15th Birthday

Dear Daughter,

I want you to know what a joy it is to be the father of a lovely girl like

you.  It is a father's dream to have a daughter who believes the world

revolves around her dad.  I know that is how you feel about me, and I can't

tell you what that does to me inside.  In the next few years you will

experience many new things.  Some of them will be very natural and some may

be a bit confusing.  I want you to always know that you can talk to me about

anything at any time.  I will be honest and direct with you, because I love

you.  I have a fierce drive inside me to protect you from things that

could harm you, but I can't always protect you from everything.  I must help

you become strong by letting you have more freedom to make your own choices.

 I have spent the last 14 years giving you a solid foundation so that you

have a basis to make good choices.  Your choices and decisions will be

determined by three basic areas of your life.

How You Feel About Yourself  This is what we call self-esteem.  In a young

girl, it is the single most important part of your life.  It will really

determine most of the choices you make.  The Bible tells us that we must love

ourselves.  Always remember it is healthy to love yourself.  You are worthy

of respect and honor.  You don't have to settle for anything less.  One of

the reasons I love you as I have is that you will know what it is like

to feel important and wonderful inside.  Here are some things to remember

about yourself

• You don't have to settle for being pretty, you can be beautiful from the inside out.
• Other people will only treat you as well as you treat yourself.
• Tell yourself every day at least once:  "I really like being just who I am."
• Your father believes you are the most wonderful creation on earth
• Try not to compare yourself with anyone else...just be who you are.
• That is always the best you can be.  Nothing is better than that.
• Clothes should be enjoyable...they aren't important enough to get upset about.
• There is no such thing as being PERFECT.  It isn't a good goal to have.
• There is such a thing as being GOOD.  It is a great goal to have.
• End every day by thanking God for making you just like He has.
• Look as nice as you can, and then be content with that.
• The best way to keep your personal values is to like yourself. 

How You Treat Others And How You Let Them Treat You 

Relationships are very important in shaping the kind of person you are and will become.  You have already made some and will be making many more decisions about relationships and about sex.  Again, you can always talk to me about boys and about sex.  I will tell you the truth.  Let me give you some very practical things to help you make decisions in this area.

• I have always treated you with respect.  Any boy who really cares about you will treat you the same way.
• You can only have sex the first time once in your life.  It is a precious gift.  Protect that gift.  Your marriage night is the PERFECT time to give it to the one you love.  Mom and I waited for that night, and we've always been glad we did.
• Feelings and desires are natural and good, but you must make the decision about the limits you will set.  Here are a few things to help you.

• Don't stay in close contact for very long at a time.  If you do, you will not be able to stop when you want.
• Keep your hands and his hands OUTSIDE of your clothes, and always keep your clothes on, buttoned and zipped.
• Skin on skin is explosive, God made us that way....limit your skin on skin contact to your head, arms and hands.  Anything else will be too difficult to handle.
• Prolonged kissing will also be too hard to control.  Make it a special thing and limit it to once or twice at a time.
• You don't "owe" any boy any physical affection, and if they care about you they won't push you.
• Don't compromise your standards, and don't you try and temp them.
• Treat others with respect, but be strong when you must be.  SAY NO to at least one thing every day, just to keep in practice.
• The best relationships, even romances, begin with a good friendship.  It is the best foundation to build on.
• Always ask your dad for his opinion about guys you go out with .
• When asked a favor use this test:  Is it helping them do the right thing or a good thing, and will it make them a better person?  If you can't say "yes" to that test, DECLINE.

What Place God Will Have In Your Life   Remember this, the reason you trust

me and love me so much is because I have loved God and have trusted Him with

my life.  There is no other way to have the best possible life....NONE.  If

you choose to continue to live your life to please God, you must do it on

purpose.  It won't just happen by accident. Here are just a few things to

keep in mind.

• Ask yourself, "would this decision or choice please my dad?"  If the answer is yes, then it will please God too. Here are some areas of decision making:  marriage-jobs-school-friendships-recreation-money
• You can have fun and still please God.
• Learn to love God by loving others:  a few tips...
• learn to love the poor and less fortunate.  This is not a feeling, it is an action.
• learn to listen to others very well...remember what they tell you.
• on a regular basis,  give something of value away to someone who has a need.
• Read your Bible, pray and meditate regularly.  It will be your ROCK for the rest of your life.
• Honor the church...learn to love it.  You need other Christians in your life.
• No matter what happens in your life, if you keep Jesus in your heart, you win.
• God loves you, even more than I do...which is a miracle in itself.
• Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

You will not remember all these things, but read them over at least once a

year.  There are many other things that are important and helpful, but these

will keep you on the right track.  You are incredible!  Out of all the

daughters in the world...God has blessed me with you.  He must really love

me too!

Dad