Basic Emotional Needs Of Men
THE LIST ACCORDING TO MEN
Affection
Sexual Fulfillment
Conversation
Accomplishment
Recreational Companionship
Honesty and Openness
Physical Attractiveness
Financial Support
Domestic Support
Family Commitment
Admiration
A man’s willingness to engage in a process of spiritual deepening will be in direct proportion to whether or not his emotional needs are also being honestly addressed.
WAYS A MAN CAN PROTECT AND DEEPEN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, AND AT THE SAME TIME, HAVE HIS EMOTIONAL NEEDS MET.
1. Acknowledge that only in genuine, authentic relationship with our Creator, can we ever hope to achieve healthy fulfillment of our basic emotional needs.
2. Become ruthlessly honest with yourself and with your behaviors.
3. Action based on right thinking is the key to healthy change.
4. Pleasing God is the only road to ultimately pleasing yourself.
5. Be willing to change your thinking and to admit you are operating from a faulty viewpoint when what is accurate is made clear to you.
6. Realizing that a life partner cannot meet your emotional needs, they can only partner with you in having your emotional needs met.
7. Life principles must be determined in order for you to clarify who you are and who you want to become. Your “Rules of Life” will be determined by those principles you value and embrace.
8. Motive trumps performance, just as mercy triumphs over judgment. You must be willing to begin again, as many times as it takes.
9. Meditation, simplicity and solitude are foundations that life principles rest upon.
10. Faith must be present in order to find fulfillment as a man.
Hebrews 11:6 Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
The above is taken from some material I wrote recently for a men's retreat. It sparked some good discussion and provided a springboard for personal evaluation. Hopefully, it will do that with you as well. Ladies...though I developed this with men in mind, obviously, your emotional needs are important as well. Perhaps some of this will be helpful to you. Grace to you all.
The Gatekeeper
November 11, 2005
Rule of Life
This is an assigment I completed a few years ago when I was finishing my masters degree. I was required to write out my own personal, "rule of life" on a daily, weekly, monthly and annual basis. Those of you who know me, will understand how difficult LISTS are for me to live by. Maybe this will challenge you to make a similar attempt. I hate legalism in any form, but being intentional is a very productive quality. I am not good at it, but I am on the journey.
A Rule of Life is not meant to be a check list for daily activity. It is a way to measure how you are living your life. These are the things that will be present if you are living life intentionally, with purpose, and in a way that will produce personal satisfaction and will glorify God. They are different for everyone. They, no doubt, will reflect your own personality and uniqueness. Therefore, you can't have mine...you must write your own. Grace to you!
MY RULE OF LIFE
My Rule of Life has begun to take shape. These things reflect some of that, and some other qualities and practices that I feel are needed in my life. These, no doubt, will change with time and maturity. This is a starting place. I am jumping off the high dive, and I will figure out how to swim when I hit the water.My Daily Rule1. Choose contentment over anxiety or discouragement
· Early in the morning, with a cup of coffee…first thing
· 5-10 minutes of silence daily
· Keep my journal there to record thoughts
2. Try and do at least one thing to correct or fix a problem.
3. Read or listen to something that improves my thinking
· In addition to the Bible
· Tapes, books, articles, etc.
· Try for at least 30 minutes a day
4. Spend some time in prayer, Bible reading and meditation
· Between 7am and 10am depending on my schedule for the day…earlier if necessary.
· 20 minutes of spiritual reading
· 5-10 minutes of meditation on a Psalm, worship music, hymns, nature, etc.
· 20 minutes in prayer
5. Do something to improve my physical body
· Try to get some exercise every day
6. Encourage at least one person by a call, letter, or personal contact
7. Have the courage to do the right thing
8. Take an honest look at my failures and accept responsibility for them
· Incorporate this in my time of silence
· Let the Holy Spirit speak to my heart
· Avoid my own agenda for improvement
9. Have a schedule in order to have more freedom
· Complete at least one task a day
· Write down at least one task for the following day
10. Do something that will strengthen my relationship with Bonnie
· Say at least one kind and thoughtful thing
· At least one kind and affectionate touch
· At least one thoughtful action
· Pray for her daily
11. Be a peacemaker…I want to be called a “son” of God
12. Find a way to act with mercy and compassion…I need mercy.
My Weekly Rule
1. Meet with one small group
2. Enjoy and participate in a time of corporate worship
3. Review my journal for the week
4. Fast one day (at least 2 consecutive meals) for extra time of silence, prayer, and meditation and journaling
5. Give something away….material goods or money
6. Pray directly (laying on hands) for at least one person’s immediate need
7. Encourage Matt and Mike in their spiritual walk through a phone call, letter, email, etc.
8. Spend a minimum of 4 hours sometime during the week in study time.
My Monthly Rule
1. Review and adjust my weekly Rule as needed
2. Look over my journal for the month
3. Make a monthly entry as to “how things are going”
4. Write one prayer in my journal concerning the past month
5. Spend one overnight with Bonnie apart from church and work activities
6. Take time to shoot some photographs…use them for enjoyment or meditation
7. Read, listen to, or attend something on discipleship, equipping, leadership or team building.
My Annual Rule
1. Take an annual personal retreat for no less than 2 full days
· Review my journal
· Write a mission statement for the coming year
· Evaluate the areas of progress and failure in my personal life
· Get a sense of what God is speaking to me
2. Read through the NT yearly
3. Read at least ½ of the OT yearly
4. Take a vacation away from all responsibility and peoples problems
5. Evaluate my progress as a spiritual leader
· Who have I influenced
· Who am I mentoring
· How have I improve as a coach
· How is the team doing
I would be interested in hearing about your own "rule of life." If you have never done an assignment like this, it might make a terrific personal retreat!
A Rule of Life is not meant to be a check list for daily activity. It is a way to measure how you are living your life. These are the things that will be present if you are living life intentionally, with purpose, and in a way that will produce personal satisfaction and will glorify God. They are different for everyone. They, no doubt, will reflect your own personality and uniqueness. Therefore, you can't have mine...you must write your own. Grace to you!
MY RULE OF LIFE
My Rule of Life has begun to take shape. These things reflect some of that, and some other qualities and practices that I feel are needed in my life. These, no doubt, will change with time and maturity. This is a starting place. I am jumping off the high dive, and I will figure out how to swim when I hit the water.My Daily Rule1. Choose contentment over anxiety or discouragement
· Early in the morning, with a cup of coffee…first thing
· 5-10 minutes of silence daily
· Keep my journal there to record thoughts
2. Try and do at least one thing to correct or fix a problem.
3. Read or listen to something that improves my thinking
· In addition to the Bible
· Tapes, books, articles, etc.
· Try for at least 30 minutes a day
4. Spend some time in prayer, Bible reading and meditation
· Between 7am and 10am depending on my schedule for the day…earlier if necessary.
· 20 minutes of spiritual reading
· 5-10 minutes of meditation on a Psalm, worship music, hymns, nature, etc.
· 20 minutes in prayer
5. Do something to improve my physical body
· Try to get some exercise every day
6. Encourage at least one person by a call, letter, or personal contact
7. Have the courage to do the right thing
8. Take an honest look at my failures and accept responsibility for them
· Incorporate this in my time of silence
· Let the Holy Spirit speak to my heart
· Avoid my own agenda for improvement
9. Have a schedule in order to have more freedom
· Complete at least one task a day
· Write down at least one task for the following day
10. Do something that will strengthen my relationship with Bonnie
· Say at least one kind and thoughtful thing
· At least one kind and affectionate touch
· At least one thoughtful action
· Pray for her daily
11. Be a peacemaker…I want to be called a “son” of God
12. Find a way to act with mercy and compassion…I need mercy.
My Weekly Rule
1. Meet with one small group
2. Enjoy and participate in a time of corporate worship
3. Review my journal for the week
4. Fast one day (at least 2 consecutive meals) for extra time of silence, prayer, and meditation and journaling
5. Give something away….material goods or money
6. Pray directly (laying on hands) for at least one person’s immediate need
7. Encourage Matt and Mike in their spiritual walk through a phone call, letter, email, etc.
8. Spend a minimum of 4 hours sometime during the week in study time.
My Monthly Rule
1. Review and adjust my weekly Rule as needed
2. Look over my journal for the month
3. Make a monthly entry as to “how things are going”
4. Write one prayer in my journal concerning the past month
5. Spend one overnight with Bonnie apart from church and work activities
6. Take time to shoot some photographs…use them for enjoyment or meditation
7. Read, listen to, or attend something on discipleship, equipping, leadership or team building.
My Annual Rule
1. Take an annual personal retreat for no less than 2 full days
· Review my journal
· Write a mission statement for the coming year
· Evaluate the areas of progress and failure in my personal life
· Get a sense of what God is speaking to me
2. Read through the NT yearly
3. Read at least ½ of the OT yearly
4. Take a vacation away from all responsibility and peoples problems
5. Evaluate my progress as a spiritual leader
· Who have I influenced
· Who am I mentoring
· How have I improve as a coach
· How is the team doing
I would be interested in hearing about your own "rule of life." If you have never done an assignment like this, it might make a terrific personal retreat!
October 07, 2005
Confusing Things
Evertime I travel I wonder about the activity they call: Pre-boarding. How can you "board" before you board?? Wouldn't early boarding make alot more sense?
September 16, 2005
Zambia, Africa
My recent trip to Ndola, Zambia. These are some of the hundreds of children we ministered to.
Take It Easy!
The Eagles. My favorite pop group...this photo tells the story. I was "standin' on the corner in Winslow, Arizona" when I shot this photo.
September 14, 2005
A Special Tribute
Happy Birthday!
Today my mother turns 75 years old. WOW! That is hard to believe, and even harder to believe that her baby boy will turn 54 in a little over a month. What do you get a 75 year old woman for her birthday? I decided, since she has long since gotten what she wants and needs herself, that I would give her a tribute. She will love it, and it is easy to send.
Don’t expect me to write some flowery, emotionally over the top piece about my mother. I could do that, but it would not be a deserving piece for this woman. She deserves an honest and candid reflection about a life that has been, and is imperfect, yet fundamentally good and kind.
In her 75 years and my 54, we have experienced the kinds of things that life tends to dump on you, ready or not. We have experienced the turmoil of a broken home. I will never forget her holding me on her lap when I was 8 years old and informing me that she and my father were not going to live together anymore. It is a vivid memory. We will never get over the loss of her beautiful teenage daughter, and my beloved sister who died way too young at age 17 from cancer. No one, including myself, will ever fully know what she went though in that two year ordeal. She hurt me deeply during that time, but because of the trauma and stress, she doesn’t even remember the incident. I hurt her deeply with a decision I made about my wedding. Looking back, I was wrong…really wrong. I regret it. The point is this: There are always reasons to harbor hurts and offenses of the past, but wisdom is learning to live a life of love, acceptance and forgiveness. Mother and I have opted for openness, respect, humor and a deep and genuine love for each other. My mother is fun! I talk to her on the phone at least once or twice a week, and we connect. I mean it…we really do. How wonderful is that? We hardly ever talk without laughing about something. Maybe the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I wish I had more of the firey personality and temper she exhibited in her younger years. I would have accomplished more. I was born with more of my father’s passivity, and propensity toward procrastination. I was blessed with her compassion for people, and especially those who are hurting and in need. We both agree that if everyone were just “normal” like we are, then things would be much better in the world.
We share thousands of memories. We like each other. We never get enough “together” time. We respect each other. We are not whiners. We can laugh about those close to us instead of complaining. We can laugh at ourselves…and often do. We understand each other. We thank God for each other. I feel honored and blessed to be her son. She feels honored and blessed to be my mother. It’s a good arrangement, but I’ll always feel like I have the best of the deal.
Happy birthday, Mother
I love you!
Today my mother turns 75 years old. WOW! That is hard to believe, and even harder to believe that her baby boy will turn 54 in a little over a month. What do you get a 75 year old woman for her birthday? I decided, since she has long since gotten what she wants and needs herself, that I would give her a tribute. She will love it, and it is easy to send.
Don’t expect me to write some flowery, emotionally over the top piece about my mother. I could do that, but it would not be a deserving piece for this woman. She deserves an honest and candid reflection about a life that has been, and is imperfect, yet fundamentally good and kind.
In her 75 years and my 54, we have experienced the kinds of things that life tends to dump on you, ready or not. We have experienced the turmoil of a broken home. I will never forget her holding me on her lap when I was 8 years old and informing me that she and my father were not going to live together anymore. It is a vivid memory. We will never get over the loss of her beautiful teenage daughter, and my beloved sister who died way too young at age 17 from cancer. No one, including myself, will ever fully know what she went though in that two year ordeal. She hurt me deeply during that time, but because of the trauma and stress, she doesn’t even remember the incident. I hurt her deeply with a decision I made about my wedding. Looking back, I was wrong…really wrong. I regret it. The point is this: There are always reasons to harbor hurts and offenses of the past, but wisdom is learning to live a life of love, acceptance and forgiveness. Mother and I have opted for openness, respect, humor and a deep and genuine love for each other. My mother is fun! I talk to her on the phone at least once or twice a week, and we connect. I mean it…we really do. How wonderful is that? We hardly ever talk without laughing about something. Maybe the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I wish I had more of the firey personality and temper she exhibited in her younger years. I would have accomplished more. I was born with more of my father’s passivity, and propensity toward procrastination. I was blessed with her compassion for people, and especially those who are hurting and in need. We both agree that if everyone were just “normal” like we are, then things would be much better in the world.
We share thousands of memories. We like each other. We never get enough “together” time. We respect each other. We are not whiners. We can laugh about those close to us instead of complaining. We can laugh at ourselves…and often do. We understand each other. We thank God for each other. I feel honored and blessed to be her son. She feels honored and blessed to be my mother. It’s a good arrangement, but I’ll always feel like I have the best of the deal.
Happy birthday, Mother
I love you!
September 13, 2005
Mark asked that I write an article regarding the nomination of Judge John G. Roberts, Jr. to the United States Supreme Court as Chief Justice. I have given this a lot of thought. Rather than sharing how I feel about this extremely important topic as it relates to our Nation's future, I want to know how you feel. How do you feel about......
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Justice?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who will be the youngest Chief Justice ever to serve in that capacity?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Justice who will be the second youngest ever to serve on the highest court in the land?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who has served as an Appellate Judge for merely two years; on the "second highest court in the land," the United States Court of Appeals for the Washington D.C. Circuit?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who if confirmed by the United States Senate will serve a lifetime appointment? Should there be term limits for Supreme Court Justices?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice whose position on abortion is relatively unknown; assumed, yes, but relatively unknown?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice whose position on euthanasia is relatively unknown; assumed, yes, but relatively unknown?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who will be only the 17th in our country's history as opposed to 47 presidents?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who "as a judge on the D.C. Circuit...voted with two colleagues to uphold the arrest and detention of a 12 year old girl for eating french fries on the Metro train?" He would later say, "No one is very happy about the events that led to this litigation."
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who "wrote a dissenting opinion that suggested Congress might lack the power under the Constitution's Commerce Clause to regulate the treatment of a certain species of wildlife?" This pertained to whether or not a certain type of toad unique to the state of California should be "endangered" should it cross state lines.
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who as a private attorney tried 36 cases before the United States Supreme Court and won 27 of them? Most lawyers never appear once before the Supreme Court, much less appear and win.
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who practiced for one of the most prestigious law firms for four years in Washington, DC?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as the Principal Deputy Solicitor General for four years under then President George H. W. Bush?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as an aide for one year to the former Attorney General William F. Smith?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as an aide for four years to former counsel Fred Fielding?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as a law clerk for a couple of years to Judge Henry J. Friendly and former Chief Justice William Rehnquist prior to his appointment as Chief Justice?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who has been a deputy solicitor, an aid, a law clerk, a private attorney and a Circuit Judge for all of two years?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who has not served one second as an Associate Justice
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who is the apparent heir to the throne in a democratic Republic?
...assuming that a 50 year old Chief Justice with this resume' (which could go on and on) will represent you fairly for the next 30 to 35 years?
I am sincerely interested in your feelings regarding this significant appointment of this nominee by President George W. Bush should he indeed be confirmed by the United States Senate
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Justice?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who will be the youngest Chief Justice ever to serve in that capacity?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Justice who will be the second youngest ever to serve on the highest court in the land?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who has served as an Appellate Judge for merely two years; on the "second highest court in the land," the United States Court of Appeals for the Washington D.C. Circuit?
...a 50 year old Supreme Court Chief Justice who if confirmed by the United States Senate will serve a lifetime appointment? Should there be term limits for Supreme Court Justices?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice whose position on abortion is relatively unknown; assumed, yes, but relatively unknown?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice whose position on euthanasia is relatively unknown; assumed, yes, but relatively unknown?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who will be only the 17th in our country's history as opposed to 47 presidents?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who "as a judge on the D.C. Circuit...voted with two colleagues to uphold the arrest and detention of a 12 year old girl for eating french fries on the Metro train?" He would later say, "No one is very happy about the events that led to this litigation."
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who "wrote a dissenting opinion that suggested Congress might lack the power under the Constitution's Commerce Clause to regulate the treatment of a certain species of wildlife?" This pertained to whether or not a certain type of toad unique to the state of California should be "endangered" should it cross state lines.
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who as a private attorney tried 36 cases before the United States Supreme Court and won 27 of them? Most lawyers never appear once before the Supreme Court, much less appear and win.
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who practiced for one of the most prestigious law firms for four years in Washington, DC?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as the Principal Deputy Solicitor General for four years under then President George H. W. Bush?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as an aide for one year to the former Attorney General William F. Smith?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as an aide for four years to former counsel Fred Fielding?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who served as a law clerk for a couple of years to Judge Henry J. Friendly and former Chief Justice William Rehnquist prior to his appointment as Chief Justice?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who has been a deputy solicitor, an aid, a law clerk, a private attorney and a Circuit Judge for all of two years?
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who has not served one second as an Associate Justice
...a 50 year old Chief Justice who is the apparent heir to the throne in a democratic Republic?
...assuming that a 50 year old Chief Justice with this resume' (which could go on and on) will represent you fairly for the next 30 to 35 years?
I am sincerely interested in your feelings regarding this significant appointment of this nominee by President George W. Bush should he indeed be confirmed by the United States Senate
September 07, 2005
My longtime friend, Kyle (some of you will know him), emailed me this question yesterday. He has experience more than his share of pain, suffering and devastation, so his question is not just a mind and soul teaser…it is an honest question. It deserves an honest attempt at an answer.
…give me your theological position regarding this question: do you think God has anything to do with the "natural disasters" or since Satan is the "Prince of the Air" and the "god of this age," do you think that he is the one that is in charge here......and don't give me the "party line" answer that God "allows" things like this to happen.......i wanna know who's in charge...........so ante up to that one.
OK...I'll take a stab at it. It is a theological perplexity, but I do have a position on this, and things like it. I would put this hurricane disaster into a category of "issues" that are hard to understand. Things like the following:
Natural disasters: (hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, and even termite infestation (which causes more homes to be lost each year than tornadoes).
Human disasters: The Saddam Hussein's, Hitler's, etc. All the destruction and carnage they produce and inspire in others.
Natural human disasters, such as disease, and especially the "tough" ones: Mental illnesses, cancer, dementia, and many other less known, but equally debilitating human conditions and diseases. Not the least of which is the whole epidemic rate of homosexuality and other kinds of sexual brokenness. Do these people ASK for these conditions? The truthful answer is NO, they don't.
Whether you are talking about nature or human beings, there are those things that just happen and those that are caused. Whether caused or not, they come from the same source....Satan's rule on the earth as a result of the fall of man (Adam and Eve gave up the dominion...rule over the earth that was given to them). Some of it is directly related to his activity, and some (my belief is that overwhelmingly, MOST) is as a result of the collateral damage of sin. It goes back to the Garden of Eden. Where else could it come from? Could these things be the purpose, plan, and hand of God? I reject that. If I believed that, I am the stupidest person in the world for being in my line of work. I personally think that God HATES these things, but they are part of the package our first parents bought for us. God does have a solution that has been initiated, though not fully enacted at this point in time. Can God bring good things from them...of course. But to say they are "allowed" by God as an answer to disaster, pain, and suffering is shallow and insensitive to my thinking. It is like saying that every time I go to a house fire, the firemen are there...so they must be the one's who are allowing fires to happen. This is the reason that I have much grace for those who suffer from the collateral damage of sin. I refuse to shoot the wounded or to heap more pain on those who suffer from a disaster by saying, "well, it must be that God allowed this for a reason..." Are you suffering from your afflictions because it is God allowing this in your life for a reason? I don't think so. Has it been made more severe by some of your choices or activities? I don't know...perhaps, but that doesn't make me have less compassion...it in fact makes me have MORE. That is the heart of the response of Jesus to the woman caught in adultery. That is the best I can do. SO....did the great Satan fling that hurricane toward the Gulf Coast, knowingly and purposely causing all the destruction and sorrow we have seen? I don't think so, though it does play into his hand very nicely, and he did have a direct hand in its origin. Did God "allow" the hurricane to take place for some unknown reason (or as some have suggested, because New Orleans is a known center for voodoo, illicit sex, and the like)? I don't think so. This world is SERIOUSLY flawed, and will continue to experience disasters, both caused and natural. Which brings me to one last thought: I would think the term "Unnatural Disaster" is more appropriate and closer to the real truth. The world was created so that "natural" would be good, decent, void of disaster and mayhem. What we are seeing, and seemingly with increasing frequency (though I can't really substantiate that claim), are ACTS OF AN UNNATURAL condition from the way we were created to live and the world that was created for us to live in. GOD IS IN CHARGE (the right response, as we all know), to answer your question directly, but He sure is a curious landlord at times! You'd think He'd want to take better care of his stuff. It must mean that all this "stuff" is not all that permanent....do you think? There you have it. I don't have any answers....only my best effort to try and understand the impossible to explain!
The Gatekeeper
September 03, 2005
Response to a friend
The following is my response to the position of a good friend who believes that the President, and his administration are sadly lacking in both compassion and timely help to those affected by the hurricane Katrina disaster. While I admire this person greatly, and appreciate her position, I happen to have a different view of the situation. This is my opinion, and it is exactly what my friend's and yours is....not necessarily right or wrong, simply an opinion.
As for the recent hurricane disaster...it is horrible. Contrast the response to this with 9/11, and you see a whole different picture, in my opinion. I don't think that relfects on the administration as much as it indicates the IMPOSSIBLE circumstances that are present. 9/11, though horrible, was a much more confined disaster and easier to get hold of in terms of quick response and care for those affected. I heard one commentator on TV say much of what you said, couched with "this is the United States of America." As if, because we are the USA, and the most powerful nation on earth at this present time, we can DO SOMETHING about this kind of disaster...we can IMMEDIATELY swoop in and take care of the destruction, misery and devestation of our people. Unfortunately, the truth is....no matter WHO is in the White House...we could not accomplish that. Yes, you can say that if we weren't off galavanting half way around the world in a country where we have no business being, we'd have more resources to throw at this current predicament...that is a fair and biased opinion that one has every right to hold. But to say that because we are a "mighty" and the "most powerful" nation that we ought to immediately have the solutions, resources and plan to respond to a disaster of this magnitude is short sighted and comes from a point of view born out of dislike for the president rather than an informed, rational opinion about the situation. You just don't like George Bush, and that is your right. Do I think we have done all we could have and should have to this point...no. Do we care and are we as a nation, nationally and politically (the American people and both sides of the political aisle) trying our best to bring relief and help to those in tremendous need as quickly as possible? I think so. It is inadequate. That is one of the things a disaster of this magnitude reveals...everywhere...in every country of the world...even the most powerful one. I am not beating the drum for the present administration...not at all. I am beating the drum for EVERY American who is devastated, and for every person who is doing all they can to help.
One thing we can agree on....we are HEARTSICK over this whole mess. I was just in New Orleans in February, and enjoyed being in that city. It is painful to see the pictures of such destruction. It is painful to see the people. It is always the poor, disadvantaged and most needy who suffer the most, and who in turn inflict the most damage on top of the disaster (looting, rape, shootings, etc). This is a sick world when you think about it...VERY SICK. Human beings can become animalistic in a heartbeat given the circumstances and opporutnity to do so.
Maranatha! (come quickly, Lord Jesus)...the only REAL answer to this and the disasters yet in the future.
And that is how I see it.
Down the middle, but leaning to the right,
OpentheG8
As for the recent hurricane disaster...it is horrible. Contrast the response to this with 9/11, and you see a whole different picture, in my opinion. I don't think that relfects on the administration as much as it indicates the IMPOSSIBLE circumstances that are present. 9/11, though horrible, was a much more confined disaster and easier to get hold of in terms of quick response and care for those affected. I heard one commentator on TV say much of what you said, couched with "this is the United States of America." As if, because we are the USA, and the most powerful nation on earth at this present time, we can DO SOMETHING about this kind of disaster...we can IMMEDIATELY swoop in and take care of the destruction, misery and devestation of our people. Unfortunately, the truth is....no matter WHO is in the White House...we could not accomplish that. Yes, you can say that if we weren't off galavanting half way around the world in a country where we have no business being, we'd have more resources to throw at this current predicament...that is a fair and biased opinion that one has every right to hold. But to say that because we are a "mighty" and the "most powerful" nation that we ought to immediately have the solutions, resources and plan to respond to a disaster of this magnitude is short sighted and comes from a point of view born out of dislike for the president rather than an informed, rational opinion about the situation. You just don't like George Bush, and that is your right. Do I think we have done all we could have and should have to this point...no. Do we care and are we as a nation, nationally and politically (the American people and both sides of the political aisle) trying our best to bring relief and help to those in tremendous need as quickly as possible? I think so. It is inadequate. That is one of the things a disaster of this magnitude reveals...everywhere...in every country of the world...even the most powerful one. I am not beating the drum for the present administration...not at all. I am beating the drum for EVERY American who is devastated, and for every person who is doing all they can to help.
One thing we can agree on....we are HEARTSICK over this whole mess. I was just in New Orleans in February, and enjoyed being in that city. It is painful to see the pictures of such destruction. It is painful to see the people. It is always the poor, disadvantaged and most needy who suffer the most, and who in turn inflict the most damage on top of the disaster (looting, rape, shootings, etc). This is a sick world when you think about it...VERY SICK. Human beings can become animalistic in a heartbeat given the circumstances and opporutnity to do so.
Maranatha! (come quickly, Lord Jesus)...the only REAL answer to this and the disasters yet in the future.
And that is how I see it.
Down the middle, but leaning to the right,
OpentheG8
September 01, 2005
Some Things
Some Things I Hate
Greeting cards that rhyme. Communication just doesn’t get more artificial than that.
Raw cucumbers. Cucumbers were created for PICKLES and pickles ONLY.
Sitting anywhere facing a wall.
Clichés…is that ALL you can think of to say? Besides, clichés remind me of rhyming cards.
Yard work (I was raised on the farm…it isn’t a hobby to me)
Pink golf tees, or pink golf balls, for that matter.
Any colored golf balls other than white
Anything pink, for that matter.
Cute menu items (example: IHOP’s Rooty Tooty Fresh And Fruity). I’d starve before I’d say those words to a waitress.
Hockey. Any sport that requires ice is too cold for me, and I like to see scoring more often than once a week.
Drinking coffee from anything that is disposable…especially GOOD coffee.
Non-dairy anything. Remember, I was raised on the farm, and we didn’t grow any palm oil or hydrogenated fat. Anything that won’t spoil should not be eaten, period.
Low-fat anything. No, it doesn’t taste the same and you CAN tell the difference.
Artificial anything. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Reservations. I might want to change my mind. OPTIONS…life is about options!
Animals on my bed. If you can’t walk, talk and do simple arithmetic, then you don’t belong on my bed. PERIOD.
Some Things I Can Tolerate
Weeds. Anywhere…hey, they are plants, too.
Unmade beds. What a waste of time, just to get it messy again very soon.
Dishes in the sink. I don’t want them on the floor, in chairs or on my bed, but the sink seems perfectly logical to me.
Schedules. I almost hate them, but I don’t want to become rigid.
Some Things I Love
Blank greeting cards. I see them as an opportunity!
Animals. With the exception of reptiles and cats.
Golf. Total frustration is good for you.
OK, so my list of “hate” items is much longer than my list of “love” items. That is only because it is easier to remember what really irritates you.
Greeting cards that rhyme. Communication just doesn’t get more artificial than that.
Raw cucumbers. Cucumbers were created for PICKLES and pickles ONLY.
Sitting anywhere facing a wall.
Clichés…is that ALL you can think of to say? Besides, clichés remind me of rhyming cards.
Yard work (I was raised on the farm…it isn’t a hobby to me)
Pink golf tees, or pink golf balls, for that matter.
Any colored golf balls other than white
Anything pink, for that matter.
Cute menu items (example: IHOP’s Rooty Tooty Fresh And Fruity). I’d starve before I’d say those words to a waitress.
Hockey. Any sport that requires ice is too cold for me, and I like to see scoring more often than once a week.
Drinking coffee from anything that is disposable…especially GOOD coffee.
Non-dairy anything. Remember, I was raised on the farm, and we didn’t grow any palm oil or hydrogenated fat. Anything that won’t spoil should not be eaten, period.
Low-fat anything. No, it doesn’t taste the same and you CAN tell the difference.
Artificial anything. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Reservations. I might want to change my mind. OPTIONS…life is about options!
Animals on my bed. If you can’t walk, talk and do simple arithmetic, then you don’t belong on my bed. PERIOD.
Some Things I Can Tolerate
Weeds. Anywhere…hey, they are plants, too.
Unmade beds. What a waste of time, just to get it messy again very soon.
Dishes in the sink. I don’t want them on the floor, in chairs or on my bed, but the sink seems perfectly logical to me.
Schedules. I almost hate them, but I don’t want to become rigid.
Some Things I Love
Blank greeting cards. I see them as an opportunity!
Animals. With the exception of reptiles and cats.
Golf. Total frustration is good for you.
OK, so my list of “hate” items is much longer than my list of “love” items. That is only because it is easier to remember what really irritates you.
My Spiritual Journey: 1951 - 1999
I was born in October of 1951 in the San Joaquin Valley of California. My father’s family was from Tennessee and Alabama. My grandmother, and all her family, were Southern gospel musicians and church planters. My spiritual heritage is very strong. I believe this has been passed on from generation to generation. My calling to be a pastor was part of God’s purpose and plan that includes many in my family line. The first service I attended, at 8 days old, was at an old-fashioned Methodist church where I was enrolled in the nursery by an uncle who was the Sunday school superintendent. I also had an uncle who was the music director, and half the choir was related to me. I have never known a time when church was not an integral part of my life.
My parents committed the “worst” sin by getting divorced when I was in the 3rd grade. My brother and I stayed with my dad on the farm, and my mother and sister moved to the city about 20 miles away. We lived with my grandparents most of the time, and my grandmother took us to church every Sunday. She died last spring and I had the unique privilege of doing her memorial service. My parent’s divorce had a profound affect on my life, and was significant in eventually leading me to a personal commitment to Christ.
My father re-married when I was in the 5th grade. He married a young Southern Baptist woman who was a strong and active Christian. Her influence on my father helped him commit his life to Christ. He was plowing a field one day, and he stopped the tractor, knelt on the ground and surrendered his life to God. My father’s conversion and his marriage to my stepmother were the foundations of our home becoming Christ centered. My grandmother’s constant prayers had a tremendous impact on these events in our lives, as well.
Our family moved to Western Colorado in 1964 at the beginning of my 7th grade year. We attended a small community church for a while, but it was not very satisfactory to my parents. They wanted a more evangelical church, so we visited the Church of the Nazarene in Delta, Colorado. We never tried another church after that first visit. The Nazarene Church became our church home. It was in a Sunday evening service, a short time later, when I gave my heart to Christ. My life didn’t appear to be that much different, but I knew a page had been turned that would greatly affect me from that moment on. I was nurtured in that church and became a leader in the youth group. The pastor showed an interest in me and made an effort to see that I was exposed to the Colorado District youth activities and leadership training.
Three years later we moved to Springfield, Missouri, where my family and I continued to be very involved in First Church of the Nazarene. I met Bonnie, my wife, at that church. She had moved to Springfield from Moberly, Missouri to attend nursing school.
After graduation from high school, I was unsure as to what I wanted to do with my life. It was during the Viet Nam era, so I enrolled in college to stay out of the service. I had no direction vocationally. Music had always been important to me, and a men’s quartet from Mid-America Nazarene College in Olathe, Kansas came to our church one Sunday night to recruit students for this new school. Bill Draper was the speaker and I was captivated with the thought of attending MANC. I transferred there in the fall. I knew it was not just changing colleges for me.
When I decided to go to MANC, I was also saying yes to God’s call into the ministry. I had been on academic probation for two semesters before transferring, but after changing to MANC, I made the honor roll every semester. This was due to my new direction and motivation to be obedient to God’s call. I married Bonnie in December of 1972. She worked as a nursing instructor at St. Luke’s hospital in Kansas City, and I completed my last year and a half of college and worked part time. I had the opportunity to become the associate pastor at Rainbow Boulevard Church of the Nazarene in Kansas City, Kansas. I accepted that position and we moved into the parsonage beside the church. By this time, I had graduated from MANC and was attending Nazarene Theological Seminary. While at Rainbow Blvd., we had a revival meeting with Albert Lown. This meeting was an important spiritual happening in my life. I knew I was faced with the decision to take my hands off my life, surrender it totally to God, and to trust him with my life from that moment on. I was agreeable about entering the ministry, but if it didn’t work out, I wanted to keep my hands on my life so I could pull it out and make something of it. I saw my life as a small boat tied to a dock and God was asking me to untie the line and push it out into the water where I was aware I could easily sink or float. I was afraid to give up that control. A verse from the book of Joshua was what God used to speak to me that night: “If serving God seems unreasonable to you, then you choose this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” That happened on September 21, 1974 and it is the only time I have ever written down the date of a spiritual encounter in my life. This is what I wrote in the back of my Bible about that night:
Tonight, with God’s help and by His grace, I have received Him in His fullness into my life. I know and am finally sure that the Holy Spirit does now control my life. Tonight, I made an independent and intelligent choice to serve the Lord totally with nothing held back. Now I will implement that choice the rest of my life. I’ve promised God that I will begin each day with the promise to Him, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15.
About a year later I was invited by Paul Cunningham to join the staff at College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe. While attending MANC, I never dreamed I would one day be on the staff of that great church, and have the opportunity to be trained and mentored by such a capable leader. I served there for 7 years as the minister of youth, during which time I continued attending NTS and completed the requirements for an MRE, with the exception of the master’s project. Otherwise, I would not be writing this paper!
In 1981, I began to sense a deep stirring to move out of youth ministry. I knew I wanted to minister to a broader age group, and was sure the pastorate was where I needed to be. I felt a calling to church planting, but had no idea what that meant or how to go about it. After a few weeks of prayer and making my name available, I accepted the call in June of 1982 to pastor the Nazarene Church in Valley City, ND. This was a most unlikely place for Bonnie and I to be moving to. Neither of us had ever been to North Dakota. We had a few acquaintances there, but did not really know anyone in the whole state. We went there to meet with the board, and were convinced there was something very real and right about accepting that church. It has been one of the most significant spiritual and vocational decisions I have ever made. Leaving the center of Nazarene life in Olathe, Kansas to pastor that wonderful church in North Dakota was the springboard for the rest of my life in ministry. It was in North Dakota that God began to speak to me about who I was and what He desired for me. Of all places to be challenged, the people there were eager for me to move forward in a somewhat non-traditional approach to ministry. In fact, some of them had been praying they would get a pastor who would be willing to do just that. All I wanted to do was to be a good Nazarene pastor. I just wanted to attend conferences and assemblies, give my good reports and enjoy the social and spiritual family I was part of. I was elected to the Board of Trustees from the Dakota District, and then to the Executive Committee of the Board at MANC. This was the crowning vocational achievement of my life to that point. It just couldn’t get much better, I thought. I was on the road to a lifetime of service and achievement in the church I loved. I was full of ambition and didn’t even recognize it. I had shifted my commitment from loving and serving the Lord, to making it in the church.
I began to grow weary after about 3 years of this kind of service. I was thinking it might be time to make a change to a new church. Perhaps a step or two up the ecclesiastical ladder would be in order. God had other plans for me. As my spiritual unrest grew, my desire to simply produce the program became more and more distasteful to me. I came to a place where I told God that I didn’t like being a pastor any longer. If it didn’t get better, I’d rather quit and play golf. At least I enjoyed doing that. I remember thinking to myself, “if I wasn’t the pastor of this church, I wouldn’t go here either.” Around that time, there was a denominational evangelism conference at Canadian Nazarene College, which Bonnie and I decided to attend, mostly because the church paid our way. Jim Garlow was the main speaker at the conference and his message was what opened my heart. It was a challenge to “get in the game” instead of spending all our time and energy on the sidelines. I knew from that point forward, I would have to change my focus of ministry and my motivation, or I would not continue in the ministry.
Later that year I visited Jim at Metroplex Chapel in Texas. I told him how his message had challenged me to think about ministry in different ways. He suggested that Bonnie and I attend a conference in California entitled, Signs, Wonders and Church Growth, by a man named John Wimber. He had visited the Vineyard in Anaheim, California where John Wimber was pastor. Jim was sure it would help me clarify the things that were stirring inside. Bonnie and I registered and attended at our own expense. That conference was an incredible event in our lives. I witnessed and participated in, for the first time, the kind of ministry I wanted to give the rest of my life to. I saw a person physically healed right before my eyes. I experienced worship like I had never known. The intimacy in worship was incredible. They sang songs to Jesus, not just about him. There was no hype or manipulation. I had always been uncomfortable with things like healing and deliverance ministry because of how they were done. Wimber was one of the most natural and unaffected people I had ever seen from the platform. He just spoke in normal, everyday language, and the power of God would come in incredible ways. During that week, I knew I had crossed a line. I would never again be satisfied with simply cranking out the program. I remember toward the end of that week, praying: “Oh God…before I die, please let me do this kind of ministry. This is what I want to spend my life doing.”
Two years later, I resigned my church in North Dakota, voluntarily turned in my ordination in the Church of the Nazarene, and moved to Mesa, Arizona to fulfill that calling to plant a church. I was not interested in stirring up conflict, and I knew that if I stayed in the Church of the Nazarene, there would be some conflict. I knew in my heart that the Vineyard was where my new home would be. I had no idea, five years before as I was leaving College Church, that eventually I would plant a Vineyard church. I didn’t even know of the Vineyard at that time. It was an extremely difficult decision to leave the Church of the Nazarene. In many ways, it seemed like a mother to me. It educated me, cared for me, and gave me a place to answer God’s call to ministry. I loved the Nazarene church for that, and I still do. The Nazarene church has been such an integral part of my spiritual life, that I would feel a great emptiness without its presence. Dr. John Knight assured me that I was leaving in good standing and he gave his blessing to my pursuit of God’s direction for the future.
In many ways, my spiritual journey begins here. Foundations are very important and determine what is possible to build. I still had so much to learn. I thought I would move to Arizona, plant a church, and things would be wonderful. The success would prove I had done the right thing. WRONG! After being in Arizona for about 9 months, I had to put to death the church I had gone there to co-pastor with a friend. I had my desert experience during the next 3 years. I also had to have my own ambition put to death. I died slowly, but I died surely. At a conference, 3 ½ years after my move to Arizona, a man who was ministering one morning to about five thousand of us in the Anaheim Convention Center, called me out by name. He had never met me, and didn’t know any of my background. He said that God had a word for one of His disciples, named Mark. There were several of us, but as he narrowed it down, I was the only one left. He said, God wanted me to know I had been in training for the past 3½ years, but now He was going to release the ministry that was in my heart. He had been preparing me for this. He said a few other things as well, but I can’t remember them specifically. After that session, the only thing on my mind was, “God knows who I am…by name. He called me His disciple.” I understood then that if I never accomplished another thing, yet the God of heaven looked at me and said, “this one is mine,” I could live and die in total peace and contentment. That was all I really needed to know.
True to His word, the small group that met in our living room began to expand. East Valley Vineyard was birthed. I am continuing to pastor this church of nearly 300 people. There have been many wonderful experiences and more than a few challenges along the way. I have had the privilege of helping to plant churches, and in releasing church planters in Arizona and in Mexico. I am presently the overseer of the 14 Vineyard Christian Fellowships in Arizona. I have been greatly influenced by John Wimber and others I have had the privilege of ministering with in the Vineyard. We have made plenty of mistakes and we are still immature in many ways. I believe God has raised up the Vineyard for His purposes. We are to help restore intimacy in worship, equip the saints for hands on ministry, pray for the sick without pretense and manipulation, send out hundreds of church planters, teach the Word, and extend the Kingdom of God in this world by all means possible.
At this time, I have prayed for literally thousands of people and trained thousands to pray for the sick, cast out demons, operate in spiritual gifts, learn to hear God’s voice, and to help those in bondage be set free by the power of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing quite like seeing the peace and presence of God come on a person who is being tormented by Satan, or seeing a person who is sick or injured totally healed. There is no achievement that is comparable to having God use you in the salvation, physical healing and deliverance of those in need. There is nothing that compares with the ministry of the Holy Spirit as He gives you words and resources to set the captives free. There is no fulfillment like watching and training others to participate in ministry. I have a passion for Jesus, the things He does and who He is, that surpasses everything else in life. I am so at peace with who He is and who I am in Him. I am blessed to be doing those things that I asked God to let me do sometime before I die. As the Apostle Paul said to the Philippians, I have found the secret of being content. I am a happy man!
My parents committed the “worst” sin by getting divorced when I was in the 3rd grade. My brother and I stayed with my dad on the farm, and my mother and sister moved to the city about 20 miles away. We lived with my grandparents most of the time, and my grandmother took us to church every Sunday. She died last spring and I had the unique privilege of doing her memorial service. My parent’s divorce had a profound affect on my life, and was significant in eventually leading me to a personal commitment to Christ.
My father re-married when I was in the 5th grade. He married a young Southern Baptist woman who was a strong and active Christian. Her influence on my father helped him commit his life to Christ. He was plowing a field one day, and he stopped the tractor, knelt on the ground and surrendered his life to God. My father’s conversion and his marriage to my stepmother were the foundations of our home becoming Christ centered. My grandmother’s constant prayers had a tremendous impact on these events in our lives, as well.
Our family moved to Western Colorado in 1964 at the beginning of my 7th grade year. We attended a small community church for a while, but it was not very satisfactory to my parents. They wanted a more evangelical church, so we visited the Church of the Nazarene in Delta, Colorado. We never tried another church after that first visit. The Nazarene Church became our church home. It was in a Sunday evening service, a short time later, when I gave my heart to Christ. My life didn’t appear to be that much different, but I knew a page had been turned that would greatly affect me from that moment on. I was nurtured in that church and became a leader in the youth group. The pastor showed an interest in me and made an effort to see that I was exposed to the Colorado District youth activities and leadership training.
Three years later we moved to Springfield, Missouri, where my family and I continued to be very involved in First Church of the Nazarene. I met Bonnie, my wife, at that church. She had moved to Springfield from Moberly, Missouri to attend nursing school.
After graduation from high school, I was unsure as to what I wanted to do with my life. It was during the Viet Nam era, so I enrolled in college to stay out of the service. I had no direction vocationally. Music had always been important to me, and a men’s quartet from Mid-America Nazarene College in Olathe, Kansas came to our church one Sunday night to recruit students for this new school. Bill Draper was the speaker and I was captivated with the thought of attending MANC. I transferred there in the fall. I knew it was not just changing colleges for me.
When I decided to go to MANC, I was also saying yes to God’s call into the ministry. I had been on academic probation for two semesters before transferring, but after changing to MANC, I made the honor roll every semester. This was due to my new direction and motivation to be obedient to God’s call. I married Bonnie in December of 1972. She worked as a nursing instructor at St. Luke’s hospital in Kansas City, and I completed my last year and a half of college and worked part time. I had the opportunity to become the associate pastor at Rainbow Boulevard Church of the Nazarene in Kansas City, Kansas. I accepted that position and we moved into the parsonage beside the church. By this time, I had graduated from MANC and was attending Nazarene Theological Seminary. While at Rainbow Blvd., we had a revival meeting with Albert Lown. This meeting was an important spiritual happening in my life. I knew I was faced with the decision to take my hands off my life, surrender it totally to God, and to trust him with my life from that moment on. I was agreeable about entering the ministry, but if it didn’t work out, I wanted to keep my hands on my life so I could pull it out and make something of it. I saw my life as a small boat tied to a dock and God was asking me to untie the line and push it out into the water where I was aware I could easily sink or float. I was afraid to give up that control. A verse from the book of Joshua was what God used to speak to me that night: “If serving God seems unreasonable to you, then you choose this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” That happened on September 21, 1974 and it is the only time I have ever written down the date of a spiritual encounter in my life. This is what I wrote in the back of my Bible about that night:
Tonight, with God’s help and by His grace, I have received Him in His fullness into my life. I know and am finally sure that the Holy Spirit does now control my life. Tonight, I made an independent and intelligent choice to serve the Lord totally with nothing held back. Now I will implement that choice the rest of my life. I’ve promised God that I will begin each day with the promise to Him, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15.
About a year later I was invited by Paul Cunningham to join the staff at College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe. While attending MANC, I never dreamed I would one day be on the staff of that great church, and have the opportunity to be trained and mentored by such a capable leader. I served there for 7 years as the minister of youth, during which time I continued attending NTS and completed the requirements for an MRE, with the exception of the master’s project. Otherwise, I would not be writing this paper!
In 1981, I began to sense a deep stirring to move out of youth ministry. I knew I wanted to minister to a broader age group, and was sure the pastorate was where I needed to be. I felt a calling to church planting, but had no idea what that meant or how to go about it. After a few weeks of prayer and making my name available, I accepted the call in June of 1982 to pastor the Nazarene Church in Valley City, ND. This was a most unlikely place for Bonnie and I to be moving to. Neither of us had ever been to North Dakota. We had a few acquaintances there, but did not really know anyone in the whole state. We went there to meet with the board, and were convinced there was something very real and right about accepting that church. It has been one of the most significant spiritual and vocational decisions I have ever made. Leaving the center of Nazarene life in Olathe, Kansas to pastor that wonderful church in North Dakota was the springboard for the rest of my life in ministry. It was in North Dakota that God began to speak to me about who I was and what He desired for me. Of all places to be challenged, the people there were eager for me to move forward in a somewhat non-traditional approach to ministry. In fact, some of them had been praying they would get a pastor who would be willing to do just that. All I wanted to do was to be a good Nazarene pastor. I just wanted to attend conferences and assemblies, give my good reports and enjoy the social and spiritual family I was part of. I was elected to the Board of Trustees from the Dakota District, and then to the Executive Committee of the Board at MANC. This was the crowning vocational achievement of my life to that point. It just couldn’t get much better, I thought. I was on the road to a lifetime of service and achievement in the church I loved. I was full of ambition and didn’t even recognize it. I had shifted my commitment from loving and serving the Lord, to making it in the church.
I began to grow weary after about 3 years of this kind of service. I was thinking it might be time to make a change to a new church. Perhaps a step or two up the ecclesiastical ladder would be in order. God had other plans for me. As my spiritual unrest grew, my desire to simply produce the program became more and more distasteful to me. I came to a place where I told God that I didn’t like being a pastor any longer. If it didn’t get better, I’d rather quit and play golf. At least I enjoyed doing that. I remember thinking to myself, “if I wasn’t the pastor of this church, I wouldn’t go here either.” Around that time, there was a denominational evangelism conference at Canadian Nazarene College, which Bonnie and I decided to attend, mostly because the church paid our way. Jim Garlow was the main speaker at the conference and his message was what opened my heart. It was a challenge to “get in the game” instead of spending all our time and energy on the sidelines. I knew from that point forward, I would have to change my focus of ministry and my motivation, or I would not continue in the ministry.
Later that year I visited Jim at Metroplex Chapel in Texas. I told him how his message had challenged me to think about ministry in different ways. He suggested that Bonnie and I attend a conference in California entitled, Signs, Wonders and Church Growth, by a man named John Wimber. He had visited the Vineyard in Anaheim, California where John Wimber was pastor. Jim was sure it would help me clarify the things that were stirring inside. Bonnie and I registered and attended at our own expense. That conference was an incredible event in our lives. I witnessed and participated in, for the first time, the kind of ministry I wanted to give the rest of my life to. I saw a person physically healed right before my eyes. I experienced worship like I had never known. The intimacy in worship was incredible. They sang songs to Jesus, not just about him. There was no hype or manipulation. I had always been uncomfortable with things like healing and deliverance ministry because of how they were done. Wimber was one of the most natural and unaffected people I had ever seen from the platform. He just spoke in normal, everyday language, and the power of God would come in incredible ways. During that week, I knew I had crossed a line. I would never again be satisfied with simply cranking out the program. I remember toward the end of that week, praying: “Oh God…before I die, please let me do this kind of ministry. This is what I want to spend my life doing.”
Two years later, I resigned my church in North Dakota, voluntarily turned in my ordination in the Church of the Nazarene, and moved to Mesa, Arizona to fulfill that calling to plant a church. I was not interested in stirring up conflict, and I knew that if I stayed in the Church of the Nazarene, there would be some conflict. I knew in my heart that the Vineyard was where my new home would be. I had no idea, five years before as I was leaving College Church, that eventually I would plant a Vineyard church. I didn’t even know of the Vineyard at that time. It was an extremely difficult decision to leave the Church of the Nazarene. In many ways, it seemed like a mother to me. It educated me, cared for me, and gave me a place to answer God’s call to ministry. I loved the Nazarene church for that, and I still do. The Nazarene church has been such an integral part of my spiritual life, that I would feel a great emptiness without its presence. Dr. John Knight assured me that I was leaving in good standing and he gave his blessing to my pursuit of God’s direction for the future.
In many ways, my spiritual journey begins here. Foundations are very important and determine what is possible to build. I still had so much to learn. I thought I would move to Arizona, plant a church, and things would be wonderful. The success would prove I had done the right thing. WRONG! After being in Arizona for about 9 months, I had to put to death the church I had gone there to co-pastor with a friend. I had my desert experience during the next 3 years. I also had to have my own ambition put to death. I died slowly, but I died surely. At a conference, 3 ½ years after my move to Arizona, a man who was ministering one morning to about five thousand of us in the Anaheim Convention Center, called me out by name. He had never met me, and didn’t know any of my background. He said that God had a word for one of His disciples, named Mark. There were several of us, but as he narrowed it down, I was the only one left. He said, God wanted me to know I had been in training for the past 3½ years, but now He was going to release the ministry that was in my heart. He had been preparing me for this. He said a few other things as well, but I can’t remember them specifically. After that session, the only thing on my mind was, “God knows who I am…by name. He called me His disciple.” I understood then that if I never accomplished another thing, yet the God of heaven looked at me and said, “this one is mine,” I could live and die in total peace and contentment. That was all I really needed to know.
True to His word, the small group that met in our living room began to expand. East Valley Vineyard was birthed. I am continuing to pastor this church of nearly 300 people. There have been many wonderful experiences and more than a few challenges along the way. I have had the privilege of helping to plant churches, and in releasing church planters in Arizona and in Mexico. I am presently the overseer of the 14 Vineyard Christian Fellowships in Arizona. I have been greatly influenced by John Wimber and others I have had the privilege of ministering with in the Vineyard. We have made plenty of mistakes and we are still immature in many ways. I believe God has raised up the Vineyard for His purposes. We are to help restore intimacy in worship, equip the saints for hands on ministry, pray for the sick without pretense and manipulation, send out hundreds of church planters, teach the Word, and extend the Kingdom of God in this world by all means possible.
At this time, I have prayed for literally thousands of people and trained thousands to pray for the sick, cast out demons, operate in spiritual gifts, learn to hear God’s voice, and to help those in bondage be set free by the power of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing quite like seeing the peace and presence of God come on a person who is being tormented by Satan, or seeing a person who is sick or injured totally healed. There is no achievement that is comparable to having God use you in the salvation, physical healing and deliverance of those in need. There is nothing that compares with the ministry of the Holy Spirit as He gives you words and resources to set the captives free. There is no fulfillment like watching and training others to participate in ministry. I have a passion for Jesus, the things He does and who He is, that surpasses everything else in life. I am so at peace with who He is and who I am in Him. I am blessed to be doing those things that I asked God to let me do sometime before I die. As the Apostle Paul said to the Philippians, I have found the secret of being content. I am a happy man!
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